Decisions have consequences. To a Zen student this fact should be glaringly obvious, but, being human beings as well as Zen students, we often choose to ignore predictable results when contemplating a course of action, especially if the results look like they’re going to be unpleasant. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, and all that. A particular set of consequences was thrust to the foreground this morning as I ran a quick analysis of my W2 on Turbo-Tax. I recall thinking about a year ago that I should really change my withholding now that I was a married man and couldn’t claim 4 dependents and head of household status. Of course I didn’t, and now the government is coming around, hat in hand, looking to balance the books with a payment that could, by my estimation, fund a few weeks of summer camp for both of my older children. I suppose I could blame the IRS, or the “marriage penalty” or any of a dozen other external reasons for why I’m looking at a large deficit instead of a large refund, but ultimately the blame is mine for failing to pay close enough attention.
As I get older I marvel at the number of things that can, quite easily, get hopelessly fucked up because I haven’t been paying attention. This list includes everything from the side-view mirror on the van to my relationship with my kids. Zen practice, whether on the cushion or out in the world is, at its essence, the practice of paying attention. Such an easy thing to say, such a hard thing to do.
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